“I want to work on my relationship with food and start eating better,where do I start?”
So, you want to get a better grip on your relationship with food? We get it - it can be super confusing with all the mixed messages, especially online! As a credentialled eating disorder dietitian and mental health social worker, we’ve helped a lot of young people navigate this, and we're here to tell you that it's all about making small, sustainable changes that feel good, not about turning your life upside down with rules. Let's talk about the RAVES framework - it's a simple guide to building a better relationship with food, and it's all about making eating a less stressful, more balanced part of your life. RAVES was developed by Shane Jeffrey, a Dietitian, and his model can be viewed at www.riveroakhealth.com.au
Regularity:
The first step is all about getting some structure into your eating habits. We're talking about eating regularly throughout the day - not to stress about portion sizes, but to keep things consistent. You want to focus on eating intervals of five to six times a day, including three main meals and two to three snacks. a roller coaster of highs and lows.
Why is this important? Regular eating is the best place to start for a few reasons.
It helps your body “turn back on” natural physical processes like stimulating digestion, metabolism and regulating blood sugars and hormones. This is important to minimise uncomfortable symptoms like nausea, constipation and bloating.
It helps your brain cope with stressful situations. Skipping meals or not eating enough can switch our sympathetic nervous system into the “fight or flight” mode, which is associated with stress and anxiety. Eating regularly decreases this.
It helps you eat enough if you have a busy schedule. When teenagers are trying to improve their relationship with food and/or minimise harm from disordered eating, life still goes on. Depending on the level of impact of disordered eating, you might find yourself still going to school, working a part time job and/or doing extra-curricular activities like music or sport. Therefore you might be short on time across the day. Spreading eating out across the day makes it more practical and comfortable to fuel your body enough. HOT TIP: If changing your eating habits is a challenge for you - think about goals that you truly value to keep you motivated - Such as “Eating more food is challenging, but I really want to stay in the soccer team because that’s something I find fun. I know my body needs fuel to keep active so I’ll use this to stay motivated to eat regularly across the day”.
Adequacy:
When it comes to food, no food is inherently "bad." You've probably heard that certain foods are "junk" or "unhealthy," but that's not the case! The goal is to have a more open, flexible mindset about food, focusing on balance instead of restriction. Every food can be part of a healthy diet when it's consumed in the right amounts.
Why is this important?
Eating enough calories, protein, carbohydrates, fibre, fats, vitamins and minerals is super important for teenagers. This is because the body is growing rapidly and changing shape across this time. Not eating enough during adolescent years can result in delayed growth, low bone density, loss of period cycles and ongoing weight fluctuations later in life.
To eat adequately, you may need to review the portion sizes of foods, create a balanced plate for meals, swap some food products and/or trial nutrition supplements.
This is especially where working with a dietitian one-on-one (or with your family) can ensure you are planning to eat foods that meet your unique nutrition requirements. The dietitian can also give suggestions on foods that are adequate, but are also safe choices to reduce stress at meal times.
Variety:
Eating doesn't have to be boring; your food choices shouldn't be stuck in a rut. Trying out different types of foods makes meals more fun and helps your body get all the nutrients it needs. Think about it - if you're always eating the same foods, you're missing out on other flavours, textures, and nutrients that can make you feel your best! Plus, a wide variety of foods keeps your meals interesting and lessens the chances of focusing too much on a specific type of food (looking at you, snack cravings!). The more variety you have, the more flexible your eating habits become.
Why is this important?
Eating disorders are often nasty in that they take away the trust individuals have in their own body and their food choices. This can lead to ruminating thoughts of “If i eat x food it will make me fat” or “I don’t deserve x food until I’ve done x activity” or “I can’t cope with the taste or texture of x food”. This step of adding in variety can build foundations of flexible eating in a variety of social settings and environments.
It’s important to note here, that in some circumstances, individuals may genuinely not be able to add variety to their food choices. This includes individuals who have strong textural aversions, food allergies or cultural considerations. In these circumstances, it’s important to honour these eating differences and ensure they differ from unhelpful eating disorder cognitions. Working with a mental health professional can help get to the root cause of eating disorder cognitions to build internal trust in the long term.
Eating socially:
Building confidence in social eating helps you reconnect with friends and family, making meals more enjoyable and less stressful. As you trust your food choices, you'll develop values-based social networks with people who share a balanced view of food. Conversations during meals can distract from negative thoughts, shifting your focus to connection rather than internal food-related worries. Over time, you'll feel more comfortable extending trust to food, even when it's prepared differently or by others, making social eating an empowering and enjoyable experience.
Why is this important?
This step involves challenging the Eating Disorders need and desire for control. Eating socially can further build trust between eating behaviours and the individual.
Some may decline eating socially to avoid feeling of guilt or shame. But the truth is, these negative feelings don’t stem from the food itself, it’s due to the person’s relationship with food overall and the lack of trust.
Declining these foods may keep you on the cycle of psychological restriction, worsening anxiety and negative associations with food.
Social eating can be a very big challenge for individuals. Here they may need more support from loved ones in the moment, or guidance from a mental health professional around managing anxiety and coping with distress when eating socially. Evidence shows that tackling anxiety and participating in eating experiments can reduce anxiety in the long term. Thus building internal strength, confidence and you guessed it… trust!
Spontaneity:
The RAVES framework encourages intuitive eating, where you eat when hungry and trust your body's signals. This approach helps you avoid overthinking every meal, allowing you to enjoy food naturally and confidently. It also makes it easier to integrate into social situations, whether eating with friends or trying new foods with family. Over time, this flexibility helps you build a more natural relationship with food, focusing less on rules and more on listening to what your body needs and wants!
Why is this important?
This is the “final” step of the RAVES model. We’ve put “final” in quotation marks, because it is totally ok and common to work through some steps again and again, until that trust is established and eating feels safe and comfortable.
Spontaneous eating can be important for creating flexible eating habits that are sustainable across different circumstances and stages of life. Spontaneous eating can also align with “Intuitive Eating” practices where we can truly be in tune to making decisions about what and when to eat without stress, fear or strict rules.
The Bottom Line
Eating better and building a healthier relationship with food doesn't mean you have to overhaul your life. It's about starting small with the RAVES framework - getting into a routine, challenging old ideas about food, trying new things, trusting your body, and keeping things spontaneous. It's all about finding balance in a way that feels natural for you.
Your relationship with food can be a positive and empowering part of your life. You’ve got this!
Lily & Amelia
BASE Founders