"I'm feeling like a failure and I’m having a bad self-esteem day; what should I do?"

Okay let's talk about something super important: self-compassion. It might sound like a "fluffy" topic, but trust me, to help you "stop feeling like a failure", it's worth knowing these tips!

So, what's self-compassion all about? It's like giving yourself a big hug when you need it most, especially when you feel down or on those lower self-esteem days. Instead of beating yourself up and listening to your inner critic, self-compassion is about being kind to yourself, just like your bestie.

Self-compassion refers to how people treat themselves when they encounter failure or suffering in their personal life. According to the widely used definition of Kristen Neff (AKA the God Mother of Self Compassion), the theory consists of three key elements:

1) Self-kindness, which refers to being warm, kind, and understanding towards yourself in times of hardship

2) Common humanity, which pertains to the acknowledgment that all human beings face challenges in life and, hence, are subject to drawbacks and suffering

3) Mindfulness, which has to do with an awareness of personal discomfort while safely processing your emotions

Think about it this way: if your friend had a rough day or made a mistake, what would you say to them? You wouldn't punish them!

You deserve that same kindness! When you treat yourself compassionately, you're building up your own cheer squad, ready to boost you through your ups and downs.

Why is this so important? First, it helps you bounce back faster from tough times. Life isn't always sunshine and rainbows, but self-compassion acts like your personal sunshine - it brightens your mood and helps you to keep going. And get this: studies say practicing self-compassion can make you healthier. Yep, less stress and more happiness - sounds like a win-win to me!

Let's put this into practice!

Place your hand on heart

"This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is a part of life. May I be kind to myself, and may I give myself the compassion I need"

This mantra acknowledges moments of suffering with kindness and self-compassion, a powerful way to navigate complex emotions and promote resilience.

Place your hand on the heart

"It's okay. I'm going to get through this. I am more than my body."

Reminding yourself of your inner strength and resilience can provide comfort and encouragement during tough times, reinforcing that challenges do not define one's worth.

This week, speak to yourself more compassionately or like you would to your bestie during challenging times because showing ourselves a little love along the way can make our journey less painful.

As always, with kindness! 

— Lily Sheehan, Social Worker and BASE Director